Friendship score, perfect run... until now...>_<

Hmmm just had 3 days straight of bball, its the beginning of the week, i should be sleepin and getting ready for work... but... i can't. *sigh*

Okay this has been gnawing at me for a while, so i figured blogging might get these issues off my chest. Plus, i haven't done an intellectual post for a while ;)

Friends, friendship, companionship, compradre's whatever you call it, a union between two people of similar personalities put in a broad sense. So far, in my life, i've had a pretty good run, no rewrite that, i guess i can say i've had a GREAT run. That is until recently.

I won't mention any names, it wouldn't do any justice to those people, i'm sure they have their reasons, but this is general discussion, not a flaming session... tho i may be tempted ;)

Anyhoo, back to the topic, i recently met a person, a few person(s) where, i thought to myself, 'hey, this person's great, i seem to have a connection or 'click' as cliche goes'. As with things, i proceeded to get to know them better, sure, there was a physical attraction there, but those people who know me, physical attraction comes second for me to the persons character, typical 'snatch nice guy' thinking, i know.

However, situations changed, events occurred, though quite serious, not something bad enough that would jepordize a friendship, in my opinion anyway. Life you will meet different people u will get hurt by some, helped by others, the ones that help you and go out of they're way to help you, are what are called your friends, they too come and go, but they provide precious memories, and you should hold on to them as tight as you can, till its time to move on IMO anyway.

This is sidetracking... anyway, things changed, and all of the sudden, the friends that i knew, or were trying to know, suddenly ignored me, some even went out of their way to avoid me... some had logical reasons, some did not, all the same, this puzzled me, as i have done nothing in my life with friends that i treasure but give, not hoping for a return, but at least graciousness and the commitment into a friendship, but not even that was returned. I never heard from those people again, i extended the olive branch several times, but there were no takers(btw there was no attempt at reconciliation or anything from the opposing parties).

This was a revelation to me, for until then, i've always had great experiences meeting and losing touch with hundreds of friends, all of them special and unique in their own special way. This is the first time i was rejected, shunned almost, by people who i though i was getting along so well with, developing another friendship full of fun experiences.

The feeling was unbearable for me. I never felt it before, it was like i was a child again experiencing his first cut. It was a feeling of sadness, rejection, depression, confusion, mainly confusion and suprisingly some anger, bitterness + feelings of betrayal. This is what shocked me the most, because, these emotions are not a trait of my character and not one i want or am proud to have...even listening to Jack Johnson didn't help... the mellow bastard... ure not that good as i thought :P hahaha

Anyway, to this day i'm still confused, at myself for feeling these idiotic feelings of negativity, and confused at how people can do these to others? When people say 'nice guys finish last' i always laugh at them because i never believed it, being the strong believer in karma i am, but i guess there are some elements of that saying that do resemble the truth, the bitter truth in my case.

Slightly disillusioned, but non the less powering on, i won't let this slow me down, ppl, don't u worry ;) just a gripe i'm coming to grips with. Besides, i've always had the saying, if they don't want to know u, its their loss, and they were jerks anyway ;)

This is my post for tonight, thank you for listening ladies and gentlemen,

-BC the cautious, but still happy go lucky guy ^_-