Have yourself a merry merry Christmas

Well here i am bloggin the night before christmas.... i must be one sad sad bugger, but i guess i am.

Feelin pretty mellow today, Christmas eve and i'm bumming around at home, all my cousins have gone out to play, while i've decided to sit back an chill this festive eve.

Reason being? relationship issues starting to rearise, and its really taking its toll... Christmas is the worse time of the year for single people and in my case, 'no status' people. Tonight is the time of joyous celebration, love and family, but even though i'm with my cousins my family is so far away, and in terms of love, its tainted and in terms of celebration, well u know that situation...

Its nights like these that make me philosophize, and i philosophize about many things... tonights topic concerning love and break ups. (woo hoo what else is new? lol). I philosophize about the conceptual nature of love, what is it? Is it a chain of chemical reactions, or is there a higher meaning?

I mean with lust its pretty easy, its chemical/animal pheramones reacting like a horny rabbit or a dog in heat, so its the effort of chemicals between two foreign bodies reacting with one another.

With love is there some different level of feeling that your supposed to feel? I mean i thought i felt this feeling, but then comes another dilemma, what if the other person does NOT connect in that level? what are you going to do then? then there comes the issue of unrequited love, love unrequited is the worse of all. Where you love each other, but yet you aren't meant to be... its like your fighting against fate, but u can't exactly win. So what do you do?

I'm glad that i go by the motto, 'Ride by the wave, see where it carries you' i use the ocean as the greatest metaphor, because no matter what, in life you should always just try to stay afloat, life will always direct you somewhere, be it good or bad, it also can depend on you. Like the ocean and surfing, you can direct the direction you are going, but it requires strength, endurance and will power. If you are lucky and strong enough you will get wherever you want to go, at the same time, you might get there by accident, anything goes.

But sometimes, if u try too hard to paddle against a current, you will get sent back to where you begun, though you will understand not to paddle that way, unless you are willing to go that far against the current.

Right now i feel like i'm paddling against that strong current getting knocked down all the time, fighting for that unrequitable love and i think i'm getting tired...

Anyway, don't want to bring anyone down the oh 'so supposed to be cheerful season', I hope EVERYONE! even the ppl i dislike, have a great and happy holidays! Lets pray for many years of peace and love to come!

Have a nice day n Merry Christmas Everyone! ^__-

-BC