The next step....

To all those ppl that i let down with my lack of posts a big sorry to u guys, things have been busy and i have forgot about why i wanted to post on this blog.

Not to be used as just ONLY a whiney venting or **** [kae insert ure special emo word here because i forgot] >_< but also for an update for things in my life and things i may consider funny.

For those of you that don't know, i might be going to Japan to work for a year in the ski Fields of Hirafu, Hokkaido. I received a rather confusing mail from one of the ski resorts staff today saying along the lines of, " You have not been contacted by phone interview, therefore you are not accepted " followed by the following email of, " Woops sorry my bad, please ignore the last email as it was not meant for you ". WTF? hohohohoh

but nyway, dunno if its a good sign or bad, but i'm going to be quite the dilemma if i do get accepted and have to cross the bridge of living my 'almost' dream now, or rejecting it for the more 'conformist' view. For a long time the nonconformist has been screaming to get out, whether he can break his bonds this time we'll have to see once we cross that destiny changing bridge.

That is all for now my friends and fans, thanks for all your support during my tough times of late, and thanks for the check up calls and posts. Ure all much appreciated. With friends like you guys it gives me hope that there is kindness in this woeful world :)

Peace out! \/ O_o

-BC

Innocent love, a frustrating day >_<

Today is frustrating,

It is one of those days u just wish would just die and never have existed, ask for a refund, i want a credit for today that was wasted.

OMFG i'm moody, i don't know why, well, actually, i tell a lie, i do know why, but its a stupid reason.

It begun from reading blogs from ppl who bitch and whine about how dissapointed they are with themselves about having a fuked up life even tho it was their own conscious self destruction in its purest form. Theses ppl are good ppl, at least i thought they were, tho, through selfishness, temptation and lust, they lost their morals values and ground.

They tempted sin, and as a result, things got messy. Hell you play with shit, u'll end up with shit all over ureself, doesn't that make sense? Now they talk about sadness, depression over the sins that they have done and how they regret it. U have to say tho, no matter how much u get annoyed at yourself, it comes down to the simple fact that it was a choice. A choice controllable only by you and you alone. You could choose this avenue, or the alternative, but u chose this one, theres no point now in regretting, ure too deep in shit to regret, all you can do now, is clean ureself up, and rediscover, wtf happened to the me of before, with pure moral fibre, ethical and innocent love that we once had?

Fuck those ppl who say, innocent love is gone, there is no such thing as a pure love, we're wayyy more mature than u because we realise that the world is a fucked up harsh reality based on darwinisms theory of survival of the fittest. In reality, they are the screwed up ones.

True love and innocent love is all about mindset, if u believe all girls are skanks, and all boys are players, u end up losing ureself, ure moral track, pathway of goodness, and u therefore deteriorate into the player/skank yourself. This leads to more skanks and players in this world, which make it even more fuked up.

It is a war in a sense, for those ppl who believe in love versus those who don't. Let me explain.

When we are born, we are all (mostly) brought up to believe in love and true love as your parents love one another (if you are fortunate to have that scenario), you've never thought of being hurt, you believe that it is like the movies and tv, later, as you grow older and u understand the world more, u realise hmmm, tv and movies aren't exactly perfect, u go through a relationship, you have your first experience where you get hurt.

Now here is the cross road, this is the point when you either.

a) Continue to believe in that true love and continue fighting for that cause by fighting i mean, you influence ppl to believe in love, when going out with someone you care for them with all your heart, create the ultimate romantic scenarios, if you are a writer or director, you imprint love into your scripts/books, and distribute that love to the ppl, growing up with love made from TV/books may be fake, but it took love from the creator to come up with those ideas.

b) Give up. Lose sight of yourself or what u once were, stop believing and join the disillusioned group. Become bitter, in the extreme case hate love, become a person who would dissillusion those who still believe in innocent or true love.

This is where the war begins, becase the more 'b' people we get the more chances 'a' ppl will get converted to 'b' by going out with a 'b' & getting hurt.

The same goes for an 'a' type person, they can convert 'b's but its alot more difficult. Its easy to treat ppl like shit, but its hard to make ppl appreciate the things you do for them.

Sooo now if we have surrounded our world with 'a' types, the world would not only just be a better place, but i believe that those romantic scenarios that we dream of will happen more and more, because of the fact that we open up more chances....

but if we continue the way we are, with the help of negative media about divorces, cheatin and the glorification of tramps like Paris Hilton and Playas, we will only be filled with 'b' types, thus innocent love and true love will go down the shitter, and we'll never experience it again.

So back to why my day was shit, i guess, it was because i was having an internal war with myself, to whether i was to stay an 'a' type or 'b' type, plus the fact that for some strange reason i couldn't rely on anyone today didn't help as well, during a time that i needed someone, i couldn't find anyone.

Its so easy to become a 'b' type, but its so hard to stay true to 'a', I have been so strong to 'a' my whole life, i guess i got tired today, and I was just fighting it out inside myself. Hell, i'm still fighting now, and I'm not sure whos gunna win.

-BC

BLog of a Blog

So its been more than a month since i last blogged!

I know i know... i'm lazy >_< and i'm forgetful... actually more the later, thanks Namz for reminding me about this thing!

K, so what can i says been happening in my life that last one month? Hrmmm...

I think i'll summarize with words and not structured sentences, you can all figure it out ;)

-Car, Audi, Black, Vrooooom! bling bling, booyah (i know this isn't a word)

-B'day, party, glass, ouch, alcohol, fun, forgetfulness

-Japan, Hokkaido, Mari, job, future, life path

-Issues, unresolved, emo'd ness, girl, unecessary

-Reconciliation, resolve, peace, contentment :), life moving on.

So these are the things that have been happening in my life the last month. A wave of different sets of emotions, especially with the Hokkaido thing, scary and exciting, a life long dream about to be fulfilled? We'll see, all i need now is a lil bit of luck and one phone call to change my life forever.... *again*

Will post some photos of those events when i can get them off everyone!

Till then, no more emo'dness no more sadness, bring it on world! gimme wat u got!

A philosophically bored Bryan

PEACE \/ O_o